Part of this Good Breakfast

You all remember that phrase, don't you? This used to be the tag on cereal commercials, after the interesting, eye-catching, and funny 30-second plot had played out on your very own television screen. I haven't seen a cereal commercial in a long time, so I don't know if they still use the same line, probably now-a-days they try to get away with something like "this complete breakfast." Hopefully none of the advertising giants would use the phrase "healthy breakfast," as that would be what my physical anthropology professor would refer to as "a bold-faced lie." Well, even the idea of "juice, toast, milk and Trix: [being] part of this good breakfast" is a falsehood, but very interesting as an analogy to something I've been thinking of lately.

Andrew and I recently had a conversation regarding what it means to be a "good" person. I hardly think that it is a sufficient answer to our question, but we came to the conclusion, for the time-being, that being a "good" person means doing the difficult thing. Sounds so simple, and yet if we think of any realistic situation where we have the opportunity to be "good," we recall that at the time when the moment of our self-defining-decision-making arrived, we were confused, challenged, distressed, breaking out in a cold-sweat, no matter how obviously apparent the "good" decision was. And the worst thing is, that we're often not afraid of making the wrong or "bad" decision, we just don't have the guts, the discipline, to make the right one.

So what does this have to do with sugary-goodness breakfast cereal? Well, simply that it's not at all "part of this good breakfast," except maybe the fact that it tastes good!. But even that is a lie, for we'll find that we're starving again (for more sugar) an hour later. Andrew and I LOVE "Lucky Charms", but we've had natural and home-made foods that are much tastier. So we don't eat Lucky Charms all the time, more on occasion. (My mom was keen on this when I was younger, and my brothers and I were told that Sugar Cereal = birthday cereal, so 3 times a year we shared a box of sugary goodness. I nearly always chose Lucky Charms!) And when we do eat them, we have to have self-control for a few reasons: 1. we know that eating Lucky Charms isn't good for us at all, 2. It wastes calories, and 3. It's lying to our bodies and tastebuds to say "this is as good as sweet foods can taste!" when in reality that isn't true at all. I've had fruits here in France that tasted like delicious candy, but without any of the added sugar and craziness that one bowl of Lucky Charms boasts. So do I think it's evil that we have Lucky Charms? No, but that's because it's done with moderation.

"Part of this good breakfast?" I think not!

This is a lot like life though, isn't it? It's easy to just buy Lucky Charms, and easy to eat them, and they taste pretty delicious! But they're terrible for me! If I was doing what I'm supposed to be doing, I'd take the time to plan out what I'm eating so that I wouldn't just grab the box of Lucky Charms, and instead would be filling my body with all of the natural ingredients that it needs to function properly. Lucky Charms might stop my hunger, but only for an hour! And when I do get hungry again, what is it for but another bowl of sugary sweetness? I think that sin works a lot this way on our souls. It's really pretty easy to sin, if we don't have the discipline, knowledge, and strength to say "no." If I don't put my health first, it's all too easy to eat the sugar-coated "good" breakfast every day, to the extreme detriment of my well-being. Soon I've developed a habit, and it gets easier and easier to excuse my eating Lucky Charms all the time, and harder to find reasons not too. Before I know it I'm addicted, and I will feel "bad" or even "unhappy" if I don't have Lucky Charms every day. I know that this example is simple, but it works. Aren't our souls the same way? If we don't place God first in our lives, it's all too easy to let other things fill His place. If we aren't thinking about our salvation, we start slipping away, ignoring the fact that what we allow our souls to do is very bad for us. Just like I am the one who has to say "no" to Lucky Charms, I have to say "no" to sin. This is actually wonderful for me, because God is on my side, and we will always be there to support me to do the right, the good, the difficult thing.

Thinking about all of this actually reminded me of a passage in 1 Corinthians 13:11. Paul has just been expounding the virtue of using spiritual gifts, specifically the act of love. But he then offers this thought:

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things."

It reminds me of my Lucky Charms. Maybe it was "more excusable" for me to eat Lucky Charms as a child. My parents do their best to raise me, to teach me to walk in the ways of the Lord, but they couldn't always watch me, and they knew that sometimes I would deliberately walk away. But what can they do but be my parents, to hope and pray for me, to guide me as best they can, but act for me? No. And now I am grown, I must truly act for myself, seek God myself, seek to do the good myself. In a lot of ways it remains just as difficult to act "good" as it was when I was a child. The difference is that there really aren't excuses anymore. I can't say "I'm too young, how could I know that was wrong?" As we grow more and more, as we know more and more, we cannot hide our selves and our faults.

So as we learn to grow, as we learn to do the good and difficult things in life, we ask for your prayers for us, as we pray for you. May the Lord have mercy on us all!

Happyness!

Well, this post will deal with a few things, all to update you on recent developments...

Firstly, we've found our church! It is the French parish of "La Sainte Trinite," meeting in the Crypt of the much larger Russian Cathedral of Alexandre Nevsky. Church in a crypt? Yes, but it isn't "spooky" by any means, more of just an absolutely gorgeous underground chapel. We went on Sunday with high hopes and shaky nerves, hoping that our experience this Sunday would be better than last. We were not disappointed!! The service was very nice, and by the end, the church was full! Full of a nice, healthy, diverse community, even some adorable children. At the end of the service, the Priest greeted everyone with "Christ is Risen" in various languages, and was met with full, hearty responses! We were happy that we could participate in this. Suddenly though, one of the choir members yelled across the parish "Christ is Risen" in an African dialect, and the Africans (standing right next to us) shouted back "Truly He is Risen"!! Apparently, the Priest had forgotten this particular greeting! When we went to venerate the cross, the Priest remembered me from when I went up for Communion. He asked (in English) our names, where we were from, what was our jurisdiction, why we were here...and he said "You are very welcome here!" We were so happy to hear that. We proceeded to look at all the beautiful fresco icons of the walls, when an older man came up to talk to me about one of them. He was very friendly, spoke very good English, and invited us to coffee hour! By this point, we were "giddy" at having found someone who was friendly, English-speaking, and inviting! What a blessing! With new confidence, we walked over to the coffee hour...

The kind man, who later introduced himself as Phillippe Alexandre, came and found us and made sure that we had coffee. He wanted to know all about what we were doing here, why we had come, would we be coming back to the church again? He told the people standing around that we were nice Americans, here for nine months! "Nine months?" That seemed like a long "visit," so many more people began talking to us about it. Phillippe Alexandre's 14 year-old son, Antoine, was also very friendly, although he kept asking if we know Michael Jackson, and later pretended to think that Andrew was Michael Jackson...very odd, but funny!

The Priest is Fr. Alexi, and his wife is named Anne. Anne speaks very good English, and is also very kind. Father told us that there is a young adult group here that meets every month--joy for us! He asked where I work, and when I said "Disneyland," he jokingly continued "What, are you Minnie there? Daisy?" When I said, "No, Cendrillon!" [Cinderella] he was caught totally off guard! Everyone was supportive of Andrew's efforts to learn French..."Well, you speak English today, but tomorrow, you say words in French!" We went home so very happy, and finally felt "at home"!

Secondly, I am officially Cinderella and Princess Aurora! Hip hip hooray!! The gowns I get to wear are so very beautiful! I think I have the best job ever: I get to be a beautiful princess, every little girl's dream, and play dress up all day! :-) We start going into the park on Thursday, which can't seem to come quickly enough. In the meantime, we're learning all about being our characters, their habits, mannerisms, signatures, expressions. This week we'll also be taught how to do our "Princess makeup" and learn our positions for the parade--I CAN'T WAIT!! I really hope I get to be a princess at least fairly often.

Thirdly, we had a marvelous time celebrating my birthday. I didn't feel like it was my birthday, except that I found out that I got to be a princess and wear a beautiful dress, but other than that it was a pretty ordinary day (though being a princess is old news for me...ha). I was a little sad coming home, I thought "This is probably the only time I will ever have a birthday in Paris, but it doesn't feel like my birthday at all!" To help me feel better, Andrew took me out for a lovely dinner on the Ile St. Louis, just us two. It much improved my mood, and it was lovely to just enjoy his company!

Andrew took this very artistic shot of me on the Ile St. Louis. This area is so cool!
The spire in the background actually belongs to a boy's school!

We went to this really cute (and slightly touristy) restaurant with Medieval decor. Inside, you thought the place was going to just collapse at any moment...not sure if it was just meant to feel this way, or if it actually, um, was this way. We had a delicious 3-course + kir and wine supper! The best course by far was the salad course, which was a warm salade de chevre (goat cheese salad). This was no "ordinary" goat cheese. It was SO fabulous!! We sort of half-thought of asking the waiter if we could just have another round of it for dinner...and dessert! That's how good it was!

Us in front of the cute lil' restaurant with the AMAZING salad!! Mmmm!

So that was my happy birthday! Happier because it seems to be my birthday week: Sun. church, Mon. I got to be a princess, Tues. got home and our broken (we thought!) computer was working (thanks to my husband's dedicated crusade to find a new Mac powercord!) Who knows what tomorrow will bring in my birthday week!?

My handsome husband...awww!

Saturday, March 14, 2009 – Greater love hath no man than this

Today, I had some truly incredible experiences. Over the past few weeks, I have become increasingly stressed and worried over our transition to life in France. This has been, and will continue to be, a most eye-opening, challenging, and difficult experience! I have realized more and more issues that I have with security and reliance, and that while I seek to be prepared, informed, and wise, I also have a great deal of fear that I often allow to overtake all else. This fear has plagued me for weeks, in numerous guises, as challenge upon challenge comes across our path during this phase of the journey.

Feeling particularly “beyond whelmed” (as I put it), I commented on an online social network that I was feeling this way. Not necessarily a complaint, or even a cry for help, but rather a tidbit of information that helped me feel better to “say.” Two things happened.

Firstly, a friend wrote back a two sentence reply that truly amazed me. It amazed me because this friend is also my employer, and not to say that my services are invaluable, but my leaving is definitely placing a significant amount of stress upon her. The fact out of all of my friends, she could encourage me in this way, was truly a blessing.

Secondly, I got a call from a dear friend, who wanted to make sure that I was doing alright. We have become very, very close over the past few months, and while she is very thrilled for us, she will truly miss us terribly, and is saddened by our leaving. Over the phone, I told her some of my stress, and she proceeded to calm me and talk me through my woes, to the point that I cried tears of joy. Here was a true friend: someone I would miss so greatly, and yet could encourage me over the very thing that would cause us both such sadness and loneliness! She proceeded to remind me that this was a trial, a challenge, and that should understand it as such. I shouldn’t just expect to be comfortable in such a new situation, but I shouldn’t expect to fall either. “If the Lord has brought you this far, and allowed so many incredible pieces to fall into place for you,” she said, “He is not going to then make you fall. And even if you did, what is the church for? What is your family and network of friends for? We are there for you, no one would let that happen!”

I was so touched by her kindness and sincerity. And you know what? It helped. Still, I lamented that at 21 years old and so many “firsts,” I still became so insecure every time that I came across a new “first.” But this move is no “ordinary” first, and could probably be the most difficult we ever encounter. Yet, I cannot help feeling that it can only be good for future encounters, to help us grow and mature, to teach us to love, to teach us (and especially me) to rely on the Lord and on each other. Talking with my friend made me understand the great blessing of the mystery of friendship, that she truly was “laying down” her life for me, putting herself aside, her own woes and stresses, to talk me through a situation. I only hope that I may someday repay the deed.

It sounds obvious to say, but I experience a uniquely enhanced discomfort when I am not in a secure, comfortable place. But I was thinking of this song (Disney analogy!) from an old cartoon about Johnny Appleseed, where Johnny sings a quirky, upbeat little song: “The Lord is good to me, and so I thank the Lord, for giving me the things I need: The sun and the rain and the appleseed. For He’s been good to me!” Well, not that this song applies to us directly, after all we’re not going to harvest French apples, yet it was the word “need” that caught my eye. “For giving me the things I NEED,” and while I may ask for more than that, well, I only need what I truly need. And the Lord will provide!

-mary

Sunday, March 1, 2009 (Forgiveness Sunday) – A Great Cloud of Witnesses

Today in the Orthodox Church is Forgiveness Sunday, when we are reminded that in order to be forgiven, we must forgive. The service that celebrates forgiveness is very beautiful, as each member of the parish seeks to forgive and be forgiven by each other member. The service is very humbling, but an incredible way to begin Lent.

As we ask forgiveness at our Parish of Saint Barnabas, the parishioners eventually form concentric circles around the church, so that each member has the chance to approach every other member. As I looked around our beautiful parish, the eclectic beauty of the people who contribute to the family of Saint Barnabas Orthodox Church, I realized for the first time what it meant to not be with these people for what would soon be a very significant period of time. We would be going through the joys of challenge and growing, but where would all these dear friends and family be? What would we do without them?

It was truly saddening to “officially” come to this realization. After all, some of these people I had known my entire life, and all of them had been supportive of me and Andrew, our marriage, our decisions…This realization sent me into a bit of a panic, for although I knew that they would be praying for us, and we for them, we would not have the same reliance upon the community here that had become so precious to us in our lives.

Standing slightly panicked in the beauty of the candlelit church, the sober atmosphere, surrounded by the loving community that we would miss so much, I had another realization: we would not be so distant from these souls as I thought. For when we commune at our parish in Paris, we will commune with you. When we pray, we would be united with you. When we read the Bible, we will be gleaning the same precious wisdom as you.

When I was in Albania last summer, the Archbishop Anastasios told our mission team something very striking, a perspective that I had never before considered. The Epistle reading on the day we visited was from Hebrews 11-12 about “the great cloud of witnesses.” He said, “As Christians, we do not consider that our mission is to ‘get into’ this cloud, but rather to help make it bigger! The cloud does not stop at us, it does not have a fixed limit, and we must seek to expand it.”

This great cloud of witnesses will be a large part of our security and solace in Paris. We do not yet know what that area of the cloud will “look like,” and I am very interested to find out! And what a blessing to have this experience of knowing a different part of it. I am thankful for the vast presence of the Lord in the world. I know that in His great mercy, He allows us to maintain communion with those we love by being a part of His body, which transcends cultures, crosses great seas, and works ceaselessly to care for all the members, even little insignificant Mary and Andrew!!

What a relief.

-mary